She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror chanting the words, “Just a little bit longer.” The mirror had a big crack in it, which distorted the face that stared back at her. She was grateful for that. The years hadn’t been good to her 27-year-old structure. Her eyes were blood shot red from lack of sleep and had big black circles beneath them. Her almond brown skin lacked the healthy beautiful glow, and her hair was a tangled mess. She combed her fingers through it in an attempt to make it look a little better. She smiled at herself and instantly closed her mouth again. The tooth was still gone. The front bottom one. Her smile used to be so beautiful especially after her mom spent over 4100 dollars for braces. She looked at her eyes through the cracks of the mirror. Who was that person that stared back at her?
She turned from the mirror to her bedroom, slash living room, slash dining room, slash kitchen. The entire apartment complex had the same floor plan as her apartment because it used to be a motel complex. The brown shaggy carpet was filled with dirt, grime, cigarette ashes, and anything else that would cling to it. The walls were stained with dirt, old blood from her many nose bleeds, and cigarette smoke. Dirty clothes lay in the corner next to a lamp with a lampshade that had an inch of dust on it.
She scratched her head as she climbed into her hide-a-bed, covering only her legs with the blanket. She wore a man’s tank top and boxers. She had no plans to go anywhere so why dress up. She was 5’8” and weighed 117 pounds. She knew she was a little bit too skinny, but she couldn’t keep weight on her if she tried.
“Just a little bit longer,” she stated again to herself as she rocked a little in the bed. She grabbed the remote sitting next to her and turned on the television. A static noise filled the room before the picture adjusted itself for view of the local news. She flipped through the channels before she deemed a show viewable and laid her back against the rest. It didn’t matter what was on television because she wasn’t paying attention. She turned to the ticking clock on the wall. 9:03 AM. She turned off the television and got out of the bed to head to the bathroom where she leaned against the porcelain bathroom sink and stared at herself in the mirror. “Just a little bit longer,” she repeated.
This time it wasn’t quiet. This time she heard the ticking of the clock. Each second seemed to be as loud as the last. “STOP IT,” she yelled, but still the clock continued to tick. She grabbed a hammer that lay on top of the window ledge and with fury raced towards the clock on the wall. In one motion she knocked it from the nail on the wall and smashed the batteries out of it. There. It was silent and she was satisfied. She dropped the hammer a couple of inches from the broken clock and got back in the hide-a-bed. Once again she grabbed the remote and turned on the television. After a minute of not really paying attention to what was on the screen, she turned to the place on the wall where the clock used to hang and at that moment she realized what she had done. A smack echoed the room as both of her hands hit her face in a simultaneous motion. She scrambled out of the bed not caring where the blankets went, grabbing the batteries and placing them back in the damaged clock. She flipped it over waiting for the second hand to regain motion but it didn’t. She gave the clock a little shake and waited for movement but there was none. “Come on,” she pleaded as she shook the clock a little harder this time. “Come on, baby, work please.” She was losing her patience. “Work!” she said as she hurled the clock across the room shattering it against the wall. “Great!” she yelled and groaned.
She got up in a huff as she made her way to the bathroom mirror. Anxiety began to grow along with her frustration with waiting. She was sick of waiting. “How am I going to know how much longer now?” She huffed and fussed at the mirror. She banged her fist against it causing a piece to fall into the sink. She grabbed the piece and left the bathroom, tossing the broken mirror piece on the table. She got in the bed, leaving the television on as she got under the covers and closed her eyes. Maybe when I wake up it’ll be better, she thought.
She forced herself to keep her eyes closed. She wanted to go to sleep. She didn’t want to do anything else at this moment but sleep. Many thoughts ran through her head keeping her from finding the tranquility of sleep. Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer, she constantly repeated in her head. Finally she was successful. She was asleep. She was calm. She was peaceful.
She felt a nudge on her shoulder but she remained asleep and then she was violently shaken awake. “Get yo butt up, you know you ain’t sleep,” said a man. She groaned a little before her eyes adjusted to the figure in front of her. “What took you so long?” she said.
“I had to wait just like you had to wait,” he said. “Here.”
He handed her a rolled up dollar bill that was tightly wrapped by clear tape. Without a second thought she got out of bed and walked over to her patiently awaited reward. She bowed her head inhaling deeply as the white particles made their way up the makeshift shaft and into her nose. She tilted her head back feeling the burning sensation that she had been yearning for. When she looked back down she noticed that the white particles were sitting on the broken piece of glass. She looked at herself as much as possible and like the many times before, she wasn’t happy with what stared back. Oh God, please help me she prayed.
