Short Story - Perfectly Imperfect

“Hey Baby, where you at?” Nick said as he walked in the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Babe,” Yawny shouted.

“Hey Baby,” he continued as he made his way from the front door to the kitchen.

“Hey, Nick. What’s gotten into you?”

“I have got some great news!” he said walking into the kitchen as Yawny was cleaning dishes.

“Well spit it out,” Yawny said anxiously awaiting his news and drying off her hands.

Before he said anything he saw movement in the corner of his eye. When he turned in the direction of the movement, he noticed Yawny’s friend, Renee. “Uh, hey Renee.”

“Hey Nick,” Renee said hardly moving her lips.

“What’s the big news, Babe,” Yawny continued.

“Uh, I’ll tell you later. I don’t want to tell you in front of that,” he said referring to Renee.

“See Nick, why did you even have to start? I wasn’t even going to say anything to your goofy, Krusty the Klown, pop tart, turtle head, but you just had to go there.”

“Whoa, did I say anything to you, Licorice Twist? When you going to grow your own hair and stop using the horse’s mane. You know they get cold in the winter too.”

“You went there.”

“Okay, Baby, obviously your kitchen is crowded with termites. Let me know when you get rid of the infestation,” he said as he headed out the backdoor to the backyard.

“I can’t stand you two. You guys argue more than we do,” Yawny said.

“Well, I don’t like him, Yawny.”

“I know.”

“You been with him for four years,”

“I know.”

“And he still has yet to put a ring on your finger.”

“Why are you pressing the issue? It’s my life. It's me and Nick’s relationship. Not yours. Why you so worried?”

“Because of all those hood rats that seem to tag along every time he has a job at the club.”

“Hey Renee, we have went over this. Me and Nick’s relationship is what it is. We have 5 rules.”

“Yeah and they’re dumb. Why live together, sleep together, be together, even utter the words I love you if you’re in an open relationship.”

“Because for Nick and I, it works. It’s better than being lied to, having him sneak behind my back, and then he won’t come home because he’s laid up with someone else.”

“But I couldn’t accept that from my man.”

“And that’s why you’re single.”

“Because I won’t settle for less. I couldn’t live your life Yawny. I really couldn’t. Sometimes, not to sound mean, but I feel sorry for you.”

“Sorry for me? Why?”

“Because you’ve settled and somehow this man has convinced you that this is as good as it gets. Some men still want to be in a monogamous relationship. Some men still want to settle down and raise a family, and some men still believe in that thing called marriage.”

“Renee, I’m not settling. This works for us. This is better than me worrying, crying myself to sleep, and wondering if I’m good enough. We don’t sleep anywhere besides our own bed, we always use protection, we don’t lie about it, we don’t bring anyone to our home, and we always, always come back to each other because this is where the heart is.”

“No girl, you’re playing yaself. I’m convinced. The man gets his cake, ice cream, presents, toys, slumber party, alcohol, and whatever else he wants and you let him.”

“Uh, I get down too.”

“When? Because the last time I checked you were keeping it all for Nick.”

Just then the back door opened and Nick walked back into the kitchen.

“Aw man, you’re still here? Don’t you have some dog to infest with your fleas?”

“Nick, shut up. If anybody has got fleas it’s your ugly butt and from what I hear they’re spreading all over the city.”

Nick didn’t have a comeback this time. Yawny caught it too. “What you mean? You burning?” she asked.

“No, I’m not burning. Just your stupid friend telling her lies again.”

“Lies! Uh huh. Did you forget that I know Mica who works down at the free clinic and she told me that Ni—”

“Renee,” Yawny said stopping her. “Let him tell me.”

“She turned to Nick and waited.”

“Tell you what? If there was something to tell, I would tell you.”

“You know, as open as we are in this relationship, I would hope that you would. You know I find out everything, Nick. Try to hide ya dirt,” she warned and walked out of the kitchen.

“Well, I’m going to leave now. Have a good night, Nicholas,” Renee said as she arrogantly walked away happy with herself.

As Nick stood in the kitchen alone, he thought some unkind words about Renee, before searching around the house for Yawny. He found her in her office working on her computer as usual. He knocked on the door frame to get her attention.

“Can I come in?” he said once she looked in his direction.

“Yeah,” she said still typing on her computer.

“So, are you still curious about my big news?” Nick said avoiding the real situation.

Yawny knew what he was doing. He always did this hoping that she would avoid the real issue, and Yawny being her passive self, would allow him to.

“Yes, Nick. What is your big news?”

“I got a job in Chicago.”

“What?” Yawny shrieked.

“Just a gig. I work every last Saturday of the month at some upscale club.”

“So what does that mean?”

“It means more money, Baby, that’s what it means, and, and, and, we get to go to the Chi every last Saturday.”

Yawny starred at him with all his little boy excitement. She wasn’t happy about this. Why would she be happy about this? All this meant was more women that he could sleep with, in a bigger city and he would get to be away from her, for real. Yawny shook her head.

“What’s wrong?” he said still waiting for her excitement to match his.

“Nothing Nick,” she lied. “I’m happy for you,” she said as she forced a smile.

“Are you really?”

“Yes really,” she said still trying to smile even though she really wanted to walk away from him.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take the job if you weren’t going to be happy about it.”

He kissed her on the forehead and was headed out of her office to the neighbor’s house.

“Nick,” she said just before he reached the doorway.

“Yes, Babe.”

She wanted to be honest and tell him that she wasn’t happy about it. That she thought him going to Chicago would be the end of them, but instead she said, “How soon will you be starting?”

“Well I’m driving out tomorrow so I can meet with the promoter for the club and set up my station, maybe even talk him into more jobs around the city.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Bye Baby, I’m heading over to Chris’s place.”

She waved him off and placed her hand on her cheek. She ran her hand through her wavy hair before sighing deeply and slouching in her seat.
This may not be what she wanted to deal with after all.

Short Story - I Miss You

The sunlight shown through the curtain cascading its way up the bed and right into my face. I opened my eyes staring into his beautiful face. There was no denying it. I love this man. More than life itself. I continued to stare at him noticing that his leg was lying on top of mine. This man was so sensitive. This man. His freshly shave head, perfect nose, light brown body and gorgeous juicy lips. I couldn’t help it. I leaned in and kissed him. He woke with a smile.

“Hey baby,” I said in the sexiest voice possible.

“Hey”

I laid my head on his chest as he turned over on his back and wrapped his great big muscle arms around me. I can’t believe how safe and comfortable I feel in his arms. He kissed the top of my head, wild hair from the night before, and squeezed me tighter. This man.

“Danielle,” he said.

“Yes baby,” I said back.

“Danielle,” he said again.

I rose from his chest and looked at him.

“What Baby?”

“Danielle.”

I opened my eyes to my reality. My sister was standing in front of my bed fully dressed, looking down at me.

“Girl you better get up if you want to be to work on time,” she said.

“Darn,” I whispered with a sigh.

I dragged my butt out of bed thinking about the dream wishing it was a reality. Ashlynn was in the bathroom doing her hair in her normal old lawyer bun. I stumbled behind her turning on the curling iron and taking the wrap off my head.

“What time are you off work?” Ashlynn asked.

“I dreamed about him again,” I said ignoring her question.

She dropped her arms and looked at me with those pity eyes through the mirror. “Girl, you need to let him go.”

“I can’t help who I dream about.”

“True, but what you dream about is what you’re feeling subconsciously. It’s been too long for you to still feel this way. Richard has been dead for 2 years. Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”

I didn’t say anything. I knew she was right. Too much of my life has been spent dreaming and wishing. Wanting things to be different but how do you forget the one you lost? The one you promised to love forever. The one life that made you feel complete when you were with them.

I grabbed the comb and began to comb through the black puff on my head. My mind did nothing but race back to the time when he and I never strayed from each other. We’d been married for years but it only seemed like months. He called everyday at the same time to check on me and see how my day was going. It would make me smile to see his number. Everything he did made me smile. The last time I spoke to him he was just leaving work. I was getting ready because we had a dinner date, but it kept getting later and later. He’d never done anything like this before.

I called his phone but there was no answer. I became extremely worried not knowing what to expect or what to do. Two hours later my phone rang. It was the call I’ll never forget.

There was a terrible accident on the interstate. A car had collided with a semi truck. Both of the drivers died. I had to go to the hospital and claim the body. I prayed and prayed the entire drive to the hospital, hoping that it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. Not my Richard.

A nurse met me at the doors and walked me to a window. They already had the person covered up in a crisp white sheet. It still had the creases in it from being folded.

I looked at the doctor and nodded as tears began to swell up in my eyes. I was crying before I was even sure it was him. I guess my soul knew. I was standing there waiting to see the face of a man that I wasn’t sure was my husband, but it’d felt as if a part of me was dead. As if I’d lost half myself; so I guess in a way my soul did know.

As the doctor pulled back the sheet it felt as if I’d stepped out of myself and I was watching me watch the doctor pull back the sheet. I watched myself as the face was revealed and my entire body went limp. I watched as I crumbled to the floor unable to feel my legs. I watched as cries beyond pain, beyond hurt, beyond understanding shot out of me as an emotion I wasn’t sure of how to express. Questions flooded my head. Reality seemed unmatched and unattainable. Assurance was gone and anything that made sense no longer existed.

This was my love. This was my soul mate. He was a being who didn’t deserve this. He and I were us but with him gone I’m just I now.

The smell of burning grease on the curling iron brought me back to reality. I shook my head as my eyes focused on the one starring in the mirror. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to hurt. One day you’ll be happy, but deal with this feeling first. I repeat these words daily. They help me get through the days when all I can think about is how much I miss you.

Short Story - Reflection

          She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror chanting the words, “Just a little bit longer.” The mirror had a big crack in it, which distorted the face that stared back at her. She was grateful for that. The years hadn’t been good to her 27-year-old structure. Her eyes were blood shot red from lack of sleep and had big black circles beneath them. Her almond brown skin lacked the healthy beautiful glow, and her hair was a tangled mess. She combed her fingers through it in an attempt to make it look a little better. She smiled at herself and instantly closed her mouth again. The tooth was still gone. The front bottom one. Her smile used to be so beautiful especially after her mom spent over 4100 dollars for braces. She looked at her eyes through the cracks of the mirror. Who was that person that stared back at her?

        She turned from the mirror to her bedroom, slash living room, slash dining room, slash kitchen. The entire apartment complex had the same floor plan as her apartment because it used to be a motel complex. The brown shaggy carpet was filled with dirt, grime, cigarette ashes, and anything else that would cling to it. The walls were stained with dirt, old blood from her many nose bleeds, and cigarette smoke. Dirty clothes lay in the corner next to a lamp with a lampshade that had an inch of dust on it.

She scratched her head as she climbed into her hide-a-bed, covering only her legs with the blanket. She wore a man’s tank top and boxers. She had no plans to go anywhere so why dress up. She was 5’8” and weighed 117 pounds. She knew she was a little bit too skinny, but she couldn’t keep weight on her if she tried.

          “Just a little bit longer,” she stated again to herself as she rocked a little in the bed. She grabbed the remote sitting next to her and turned on the television. A static noise filled the room before the picture adjusted itself for view of the local news. She flipped through the channels before she deemed a show viewable and laid her back against the rest. It didn’t matter what was on television because she wasn’t paying attention. She turned to the ticking clock on the wall. 9:03 AM. She turned off the television and got out of the bed to head to the bathroom where she leaned against the porcelain bathroom sink and stared at herself in the mirror. “Just a little bit longer,” she repeated.

          This time it wasn’t quiet. This time she heard the ticking of the clock. Each second seemed to be as loud as the last. “STOP IT,” she yelled, but still the clock continued to tick. She grabbed a hammer that lay on top of the window ledge and with fury raced towards the clock on the wall. In one motion she knocked it from the nail on the wall and smashed the batteries out of it. There. It was silent and she was satisfied. She dropped the hammer a couple of inches from the broken clock and got back in the hide-a-bed. Once again she grabbed the remote and turned on the television. After a minute of not really paying attention to what was on the screen, she turned to the place on the wall where the clock used to hang and at that moment she realized what she had done. A smack echoed the room as both of her hands hit her face in a simultaneous motion. She scrambled out of the bed not caring where the blankets went, grabbing the batteries and placing them back in the damaged clock. She flipped it over waiting for the second hand to regain motion but it didn’t. She gave the clock a little shake and waited for movement but there was none. “Come on,” she pleaded as she shook the clock a little harder this time. “Come on, baby, work please.” She was losing her patience. “Work!” she said as she hurled the clock across the room shattering it against the wall. “Great!” she yelled and groaned.

          She got up in a huff as she made her way to the bathroom mirror. Anxiety began to grow along with her frustration with waiting. She was sick of waiting. “How am I going to know how much longer now?” She huffed and fussed at the mirror. She banged her fist against it causing a piece to fall into the sink. She grabbed the piece and left the bathroom, tossing the broken mirror piece on the table. She got in the bed, leaving the television on as she got under the covers and closed her eyes. Maybe when I wake up it’ll be better, she thought.

          She forced herself to keep her eyes closed. She wanted to go to sleep. She didn’t want to do anything else at this moment but sleep. Many thoughts ran through her head keeping her from finding the tranquility of sleep. Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer, she constantly repeated in her head. Finally she was successful. She was asleep. She was calm. She was peaceful.

          She felt a nudge on her shoulder but she remained asleep and then she was violently shaken awake. “Get yo butt up, you know you ain’t sleep,” said a man. She groaned a little before her eyes adjusted to the figure in front of her. “What took you so long?” she said.

“I had to wait just like you had to wait,” he said. “Here.”

          He handed her a rolled up dollar bill that was tightly wrapped by clear tape. Without a second thought she got out of bed and walked over to her patiently awaited reward. She bowed her head inhaling deeply as the white particles made their way up the makeshift shaft and into her nose. She tilted her head back feeling the burning sensation that she had been yearning for. When she looked back down she noticed that the white particles were sitting on the broken piece of glass. She looked at herself as much as possible and like the many times before, she wasn’t happy with what stared back. Oh God, please help me she prayed.

Desire

Lisa peered out the living room window across the street as a moving truck pulled into the driveway. “Honey, some people are moving in across the street,” she yelled to the office where her husband Darius was working on the project that he’d been working on for several weeks now. In the urge of desperation and the need to get up and walk away, he pulled out his chair from his desk and walked towards her. It was either going to be him or this project, but it just couldn’t be him. He met Lisa in the living room where he found her still looking out the window with a bag of cookies in one hand and her other hand settled in the bag as if subtly saying, do not touch these cookies or else. Darius smiled as he stood behind her to get a view of what she was viewing.

“Oh so we’re getting new neighbors,” he confirmed.

“Yep. It’s about time. That house has been vacant for three years.”

“It hasn’t been that bad. When we needed extra parking space for family get-togethers, people were able to park over there without complaint. Where are they going to park, now?”

“Oh stop,” she said playfully hitting his shoulder. She placed the cookie bag on the end table that sat next to the window and backed into the arms of her husband. Oh how I love this man, she thought.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around his wife until they rested on her five month old baby bump. “I can’t wait until this little guy is here.”

“Yeah, he is going to be so spoiled” she said as she turned around and wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck.

“Yeah. I just can’t wait till he can play catch.”

Lisa smiled before giving him a kiss then walking towards the kitchen with her bag of cookies.

Darius remained standing at the window, placing his hands in his pocket as the movers unloaded the truck with some odd things. Darius wrinkled up his nose and then walked away from the window feeling odd that he was still starring without Lisa watching with him.

“Do you think we should do something for them?” Darius said meeting Lisa in the kitchen.

“For who?”

“The neighbors.”

“Something like what?”

“I don’t know,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “I just remember when we moved to this neighborhood, we had people coming around for days giving us welcome to your new home gifts.”

“Well, yea. I guess we can do something,” she said giving in not really wanting to do too much. “We could re-wrap one of those gifts that were giving to us.”

“We could, or we can be genuinely nice and give them something they would like or something they will need.”

Lisa smiled. That was why she loved him. He was always thinking of others whether he knew them or not. “Well I guess. Whatever you want to do, honey, is fine with me.”

“Just you?”

“Fine with me and the little boy inside me that is going to come out looking just as handsome as his father.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss and another.

“Love you.”

“Love you more.”

“Okay, honey. I have to get back to work. This dang project is going to kill me.”

“You’ll be fine and if you need a break you know where to find me,” she winked.

Natural Fool

“This is why you don’t marry someone just because they have a few strokes that make your toes curl,” Janel said as she sat across from Melody scooping vanilla ice cream into her mouth.

“For your information, I didn’t know how good his sex was until after we were married, but I know what you mean,” Melody replied. She starred at her ice cream, not eating it, just placing it on her spoon and then tilting her spoon to watch the dessert slide down the metal and clump back into the dish. “And honestly J, I’m not in the mood for I told you so’s. The annulment just became final today. This is supposed to be my annulment party!”

“This is a sad party. We’re at a college diner, eating ice cream.”

Melody shook her head. “How do you celebrate a desolvement of a marriage? Especially mine? I’m only doing it because a lady at work said I should. She said it’ll make me feel better.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Girl, no! I don’t. I’m pissed. I don’t understand how someone can be so conniving; so vindictive. You don’t play with someone’s heart like that!”

Janel shook her head but she remained quiet. She knew Melody needed this venting session, even though she’d already heard these words before.

“You know the fool tried to get half of everything I own?”

“After four in a half months of marriage?”

“Yes, and was dead pressed toward it.”

“I thought you had him sign a pre-nuptial thingy.”

“No,” Melody sighed. “He talked me out of it saying that I should trust him and that he loved me not my money.”

“He didn’t get anything did he?”

“Not much, thank God. The judge dismissed that request but then he tried to say that I should pay spousal support.”

“What!” Janel’s voice raised an entire octave.

“Yeah, I know. I picked a good one. Luckily, the judge dismissed that too. I’m glad she was a woman because a man probably would’ve granted these ridiculous requests.”

“Hmph,” Janel said unsure if she should make a comment.

“He did get me though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to pay for the annulment, his court and lawyer fees, and his moving expenses."

“What! You’re kidding.”

Melody shook her head. Emotionless. Eyes glued to her now soupy ice cream.

“The judge really said that?”

Melody nodded.

“But he's the one who requested the annulment, behind your back.” Janel objected

“I was nothing to him. I should’ve known too,” she chuckled and shook her head in disbelief. “First of all, it was Friday when I met him so he musta just got paid or something because he was flashy. Had on more jewelry than me. I was headed to the bank downtown and it’s crazy because I know when I pulled up to the parking meter the car behind me was already there. Do you know what this man did?”

“What?”

“He pretended as if he was paying the meter for that car. It was a black Mercedes. I’ll never forget it because I instantly thought that is a nice car.”

“How do you know he pretended?”

“Because when we were together I never once seen that car and after we were married he told me that he sold it, and then asked to borrow mine all the time. If that really was your car and the only car you had, why in the world would you sell it? Seriously though? And I almost bought him a car."

“Dang girl.”

“And, if you have such a great job how come you never go to it or you have the day off but I never really see any money from this wonderful job and you can’t give me a company name because of some lame excuse I know you made up.”

“So Girl, why did you marry him?”

Melody shrugged. “I was in love. I seriously looked past the lies and dumbness because he had the potential to be more.”

“You can’t fall in love with potential.”

“I know. I know,” Melody buried her face in her hands and let out an audible sigh. “I am sucha fool,” she said removing her hands from her face and going back to playing in her ice cream. The two sat quiet for a while. Janel starred at her empty bowl unsure of anything to say. She wanted to comfort Melody but she didn’t know how and she didn't want to upset her more.
“I was nothing but a meal ticket to him,” Melody finally said dropping her spoon and sitting back in her seat crossing her arms over her chest.

Her frustration had mounted to its peak. How could she let this happen? To her? She knew it happened to other women but never would it happen to her, at least it wasn’t supposed to. She was smarter than this. She’d actually been taken advantage of at this age. An age when peer pressure, dorm room dares, and midnight creeps were behind her. She was an adult.

Janel studied Melody. Lines were forged across her forehead and her eyebrows were down. Her eyes were blank and her complete body language was tired. Beaten down. She’d given up.

“What was he to you?” Janel said breaking the silence.

“What do you mean?”

“If you were just his meal ticket then what was he to you?”

Melody was taken aback. She’d never really thought about it. What was he to me? The question swirled around in her head as if it were being mixed in a blender. The more she thought about it she slowly began to smile.

When she was lonely he would provide company. When she wanted someone to talk to he would be there to listen. When she needed a shoulder he would offer. When she was exhausted he’d let her rest. When she needed a laugh he would tell a joke. When she needed something very minor he was always there. Her answer was simple and the very reason why she was so blind.

She perked up and looked Janel in her eyes. “He was my court jester,” Melody said erupting into laughter.

Janel laughed too. “Girl you are crazy!” she said through chuckles. “Straight crazy.”

Missing You

The sunlight shown through the curtain cascading its way up the bed and right into my face. I opened my eyes staring into his beautiful face. There was no denying it. I love this man. More than life itself. I continued to stare at him noticing that his leg was lying on top of mine. This man was so sensitive. This man. His freshly shave head, perfect nose, light brown body and gorgeous juicy lips. I couldn’t help it. I leaned in and kissed him. He woke with a smile.

“Hey baby,” I said in the sexiest voice possible.

“Hey”

I laid my head on his chest as he turned over on his back and wrapped his great big muscle arms around me. I can’t believe how safe and comfortable I feel in his arms. He kissed the top of my head, wild hair from the night before, and squeezed me tighter. This man.

“Danielle,” he said.

“Yes baby,” I said back.

“Danielle,” he said again.

I rose from his chest and looked at him.

“What Baby?”

“Danielle.”

I opened my eyes to my reality. My sister was standing in front of my bed fully dressed, looking down at me.

“Girl you better get up if you want to be to work on time,” she said.

“Darn,” I whispered with a sigh.

I dragged my butt out of bed thinking about the dream wishing it was a reality. Ashlynn was in the bathroom doing her hair in her normal old lawyer bun. I stumbled behind her turning on the curling iron and taking the wrap off my head.

“What time are you off work?” Ashlynn asked.

“I dreamed about him again,” I said ignoring her question.

She dropped her arms and looked at me with those pity eyes through the mirror. “Girl, you need to let him go.”

“I can’t help who I dream about.”

“True, but what you dream about is what you’re feeling subconsciously. It’s been too long for you to still feel this way. Richard has been dead for 2 years. Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”

I didn’t say anything. I knew she was right. Too much of my life has been spent dreaming and wishing. Wanting things to be different but how do you forget the one you lost? The one you promised to love forever. The one life that made you feel complete when you were with them.

I grabbed the comb and began to comb through the black puff on my head. My mind did nothing but race back to the time when he and I never strayed from each other. We’d been married for years but it only seemed like months. He called everyday at the same time to check on me and see how my day was going. It would make me smile to see his number. Everything he did made me smile. The last time I spoke to him he was just leaving work. I was getting ready because we had a dinner date, but it kept getting later and later. He’d never done anything like this before.

I called his phone but there was no answer. I became extremely worried not knowing what to expect or what to do. Two hours later my phone rang. It was the call I’ll never forget.

There was a terrible accident on the interstate. A car had collided with a semi truck. Both of the drivers died. I had to go to the hospital and claim the body. I prayed and prayed the entire drive to the hospital, hoping that it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. Not my Richard.

A nurse met me at the doors and walked me to a window. They already had the person covered up in a crisp white sheet. It still had the creases in it from being folded.

I looked at the doctor and nodded as tears began to swell up in my eyes. I was crying before I was even sure it was him. I guess my soul knew. I was standing there waiting to see the face of a man that I wasn’t sure was my husband, but it’d felt as if a part of me was dead. As if I’d lost half myself; so I guess in a way my soul did know.

As the doctor pulled back the sheet it felt as if I’d stepped out of myself and I was watching me watch the doctor pull back the sheet. I watched myself as the face was revealed and my entire body went limp. I watched as I crumbled to the floor unable to feel my legs. I watched as cries beyond pain, beyond hurt, beyond understanding shot out of me as an emotion I wasn’t sure of how to express. Questions flooded my head. Reality seemed unmatched and unattainable. Assurance was gone and anything that made sense no longer existed.

This was my love. This was my soul mate. He was a being who didn’t deserve this. He and I were us but with him gone I’m just I now.

The smell of burning grease on the curling iron brought me back to reality. I shook my head as my eyes focused on the one starring in the mirror. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to hurt. One day you’ll be happy, but deal with this feeling first. I repeat these words daily. They help me get through the days when all I can think about is how much I miss you.

2 Short Poems: Displaying My Love for God

To Be Loved By You:

     I don't know where I would be without you. I tell myself I don't deserve you. Your love consumes me and makes me want to please you and no matter how bad I've treated you--

-When I cursed you

-When I cheated spending time with you

-When I even tried to go on without you

     You still remain unchanged and love me for who I am.

Nothing like the love of God.

Stop Playing Yourself:

     You wish upon a star for something you want most

     You wish upon an eyelash for something you can boast

     A flick of a coin in a pond for something you hold dear

     And don't step on the crack or a visit to the chiropractor for your mother will be near

     Good luck should be yours if you gather little trinkets

     And don't split that pole or let a black cat walk in front of you, you may think it

     Forward that text message and that email

     Its a crazy thought but yet you do it without fail

     You put faith in it.

     You drag in hope.

     You put your heart in it.

     A positive outcome will be yours you know...

     Well...STOP!

     The best positive outcome is God!

     The one who can give it all is God!

     The one who can provide simply because He wants to?

     The one who can provide simply because He loves you?

     

     GOD!!

     No false hope.

     No broken promises.

     Just His word.

     Which can be relied on!!

     Love.

     Mercy.

     Forgiveness.

     Grace.

Joy, Love, and Passion

Time is moving faster than I care to admit but I'm joyful.

I look at how far I've come in so little time but I compare my strides to my peers and it seems my strides are not long enough yet, still I am joyful.

I never thought my life could be filled with such love and passion.

The greatness of my worth is not yet recognized, but I'm joyful.

I don't long for things I cannot have or purchase things I know in the long run I won't be able to afford, but I am joyful.

My life is filled with such love and passion.

My joy and my blessings overcome my shortcomings and disarm my lacks.

I feel what I know I want and dream a great dream. I see these dreams as windows to my future. A future so great that it gives me joy. A joy so great that a trip or a short fall means nothing because I know my misstep or accidental folly is temporary. My joy knows no such failure. My God knows no such defeat.

I've seen the life I'm meant to lead and joyfully I will go to it. My great and wondrous future. A life filled with joy, love, and passion.

Perfectly Imperfect - Short Story(Non Series)

“Hey Baby, where you at?” Nick said as he walked in the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Babe,” Yawny shouted.

“Hey Baby,” he continued as he made his way from the front door to the kitchen.

“Hey, Nick. What’s gotten into you?”

“I have got some great news!” he said walking into the kitchen as Yawny was cleaning dishes.

“Well spit it out,” Yawny said anxiously awaiting his news and drying off her hands.

Before he said anything he saw movement in the corner of his eye. When he turned in the direction of the movement, he noticed Yawny’s friend, Renee. “Uh, hey Renee.”

“Hey Nick,” Renee said hardly moving her lips.

“What’s the big news, Babe,” Yawny continued.

“Uh, I’ll tell you later. I don’t want to tell you in front of that,” he said referring to Renee.

“See Nick, why did you even have to start? I wasn’t even going to say anything to your goofy, Krusty the Klown, pop tart, turtle head, but you just had to go there.”

“Whoa, did I say anything to you, Licorice Twist? When you going to grow your own hair and stop using the horse’s mane. You know they get cold in the winter too.”

“You went there.”

“Okay, Baby, obviously your kitchen is crowded with termites. Let me know when you get rid of the infestation,” he said as he headed out the backdoor to the backyard.

“I can’t stand you two. You guys argue more than we do,” Yawny said.

“Well, I don’t like him, Yawny.”

“I know.”

“You been with him for four years,”

“I know.”

“And he still has yet to put a ring on your finger.”

“Why are you pressing the issue? It’s my life. It's me and Nick’s relationship. Not yours. Why you so worried?”

“Because of all those hood rats that seem to tag along every time he has a job at the club.”

“Hey Renee, we have went over this. Me and Nick’s relationship is what it is. We have 5 rules.”

“Yeah and they’re dumb. Why live together, sleep together, be together, even utter the words I love you if you’re in an open relationship.”

“Because for Nick and I, it works. It’s better than being lied to, having him sneak behind my back, and then he won’t come home because he’s laid up with someone else.”

“But I couldn’t accept that from my man.”

“And that’s why you’re single.”

“Because I won’t settle for less. I couldn’t live your life Yawny. I really couldn’t. Sometimes, not to sound mean, but I feel sorry for you.”

“Sorry for me? Why?”

“Because you’ve settled and somehow this man has convinced you that this is as good as it gets. Some men still want to be in a monogamous relationship. Some men still want to settle down and raise a family, and some men still believe in that thing called marriage.”

“Renee, I’m not settling. This works for us. This is better than me worrying, crying myself to sleep, and wondering if I’m good enough. We don’t sleep anywhere besides our own bed, we always use protection, we don’t lie about it, we don’t bring anyone to our home, and we always, always come back to each other because this is where the heart is.”

“No girl, you’re playing yaself. I’m convinced. The man gets his cake, ice cream, presents, toys, slumber party, alcohol, and whatever else he wants and you let him.”

“Uh, I get down too.”

“When? Because the last time I checked you were keeping it all for Nick.”

Just then the back door opened and Nick walked back into the kitchen.

“Aw man, you’re still here? Don’t you have some dog to infest with your fleas?”

“Nick, shut up. If anybody has got fleas it’s your ugly butt and from what I hear they’re spreading all over the city.”

Nick didn’t have a comeback this time. Yawny caught it too. “What you mean? You burning?” she asked.

“No, I’m not burning. Just your stupid friend telling her lies again.”

“Lies! Uh huh. Did you forget that I know Mica who works down at the free clinic and she told me that Ni—”

“Renee,” Yawny said stopping her. “Let him tell me.”

“She turned to Nick and waited.”

“Tell you what? If there was something to tell, I would tell you.”

“You know, as open as we are in this relationship, I would hope that you would. You know I find out everything, Nick. Try to hide ya dirt,” she warned and walked out of the kitchen.

“Well, I’m going to leave now. Have a good night, Nicholas,” Renee said as she arrogantly walked away happy with herself.

As Nick stood in the kitchen alone, he thought some unkind words about Renee, before searching around the house for Yawny. He found her in her office working on her computer as usual. He knocked on the door frame to get her attention.

“Can I come in?” he said once she looked in his direction.

“Yeah,” she said still typing on her computer.

“So, are you still curious about my big news?” Nick said avoiding the real situation.

Yawny knew what he was doing. He always did this hoping that she would avoid the real issue, and Yawny being her passive self, would allow him to.

“Yes, Nick. What is your big news?”

“I got a job in Chicago.”

“What?” Yawny shrieked.

“Just a gig. I work every last Saturday of the month at some upscale club.”

“So what does that mean?”

“It means more money, Baby, that’s what it means, and, and, and, we get to go to the Chi every last Saturday.”

Yawny starred at him with all his little boy excitement. She wasn’t happy about this. Why would she be happy about this? All this meant was more women that he could sleep with, in a bigger city and he would get to be away from her, for real. Yawny shook her head.

“What’s wrong?” he said still waiting for her excitement to match his.

“Nothing Nick,” she lied. “I’m happy for you,” she said as she forced a smile.

“Are you really?”

“Yes really,” she said still trying to smile even though she really wanted to walk away from him.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take the job if you weren’t going to be happy about it.”

He kissed her on the forehead and was headed out of her office to the neighbor’s house.

“Nick,” she said just before he reached the doorway.

“Yes, Babe.”

She wanted to be honest and tell him that she wasn’t happy about it. That she thought him going to Chicago would be the end of them, but instead she said, “How soon will you be starting?”

“Well I’m driving out tomorrow so I can meet with the promoter for the club and set up my station, maybe even talk him into more jobs around the city.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Bye Baby, I’m heading over to Chris’s place.”

She waved him off and placed her hand on her cheek. She ran her hand through her wavy hair before sighing deeply and slouching in her seat.

Hope - Short Story - Part 3 (Final)

Summer seemed to be worse for me when it came to being around Janet and my siblings. I had to do everything for everybody and I was still confused about what “SSS-BIhE calculator” was. Why did Paris do that? Several times I wanted to call my dad and tell him, I want to live with you, but I didn’t have the number. I studied that piece of paper every night. I dreamt about it those letters. I wrote them everywhere and recited them like I was getting ready to star in a play and that was my only line. “SSS-BIhE calculator.” After a month in a half I didn’t even look at the paper anymore. The letters were engraved in my head. Even though I didn’t look at the paper I still carried it with me everywhere. It had gotten just a little wrinkled but it was the closest thing I had to my dad and Paris. The only thing I had.

When Janet would get frustrated with me for no reason at all I would reach my hands in my pocket and squeeze the piece of paper. After a whooping or a slap or something I did even though I didn’t know I did it, I’d hold on to the piece of paper.

One day, Leah was being nice and let me play in her room with her. It was raining outside so she couldn’t play with Tessa. I couldn’t touch anything though. Only look. This particular day was special because she held out a doll that she considered her most favorite doll and she let me hold her. The doll was very pretty and even looked a little like Leah with its curly black hair. I hardly moved while I held the doll. I didn’t want something to happen and then I’d be blamed and wouldn’t be able to play with Leah ever again.

“Hey Chloe, since you don’t have any dolls, I’ll let you have that one if you want it,” Leah said.

I thought I was dreaming. “I can have it for real?”

“Yea. I have plenty of dolls. Next time we play together you can bring your own doll.”

“Wow. Thank you!”

I was admiring my new toy when Alex and Trenton busted into Leah’s room very hyper.

“Leah, Dad’s here look what he got us?”

Alex handed Leah the toy and then Trenton turned to me, “Our dad got one for you too,” he said as he handed me one.

It was a little knick knack doll that stood on a round block. When you pushed the button a string would loosen and the doll would fall limp and when you pushed the button again it would pull the string tight and the doll would straighten back up. It was fun to play with.

“Come on, Leah. Dad is ready to go,” Trenton said.

“Bye Chloe,” they all said in unison.

“Bye,” I said back as they left me in the middle of Leah’s room holding my new doll and the limp doll.

Leah returned seconds later telling me to get out of her room. As I stood up to leave my piece of paper fell out of my pocket.

“Hey, what is this?” Leah said as she picked up the piece of paper.

I immediately reached in my pocket hoping that that piece of paper wasn’t my piece of paper but when my pocket was empty I knew I was gonna be in for it.

“Hey, Chloe what does this mean?”

She was nice. “Uh, I don’t know.”

“Did your dad give it to you?” she asked.

“Yea,” I lied “But I don’t know what it means.”

She studied the paper really hard examining it for a really long time and then she said, “I got it.”

She went over to a box that kept her school things inside. She reached in and pulled out a calculator. Using the calculator she typed in some numbers and then turned it upside down. “Oh,” she said disappointed.

“What?”

“I thought it would spell out a word but it’s just a bunch of numbers.”

“Let me see,” I said.

She showed me the calculator and the numbers read 555-8143. Of course I thought remembering the hello that Paris spelled out on my calculator.

“Do you know what it means?” Leah asked.

I shook my head.

“Oh well. Here you go,” she said handing me back my piece of paper.

I took it from her and we both left out of her room together. I placed the piece of paper back in my pocket and carried my new toys to my couch. I finally had a doll to sleep with at night. Just as I was placing the doll on the couch a loud smack sounded and my back began to burn.

“What are you doing with Leah’s doll?”

“She gave it to me,” I said as I tried to hold back tears.

“You’re lying.”

“No, she really did give it to me.”

“Go put it back in her room.”

“But—”

SMACK. I didn’t even get the words out before her back hand stung across my face. “What did I say? And don’t you dare talk back to me.”

I broke and Janet was pleased. She lived to see me cry. She lived to see me suffer. She lived to make sure I didn’t.

I slowly crept back into Leah’s room and placed the doll back on Leah’s bed. When Leah gets back she will give me back the doll and Janet will see that she was wrong, I thought.

I was wrong. Leah came home, seen the doll on her bed, and didn’t say a work. It was then that I knew I had to get out of here. Everyone in this house was against me. They were bred to hate me and no matter what I did they would always hate me. I had to get out of here. Sometime in the near future I would be using my dad’s number and as I laid on the couch in the dark I smiled. A real genuine smile because I knew, finally I would be happy.